Sunday, 15 May 2011

Thank You


I have been very touched by all your words of comfort and friendship since Grace passed away.  Thank you so much everyone for your messages and emails.  This last week has been a difficult one but we have now pretty much organised Grace's funeral which she wants kept 'as short as possible'.  Friends will gather on Thursday to say their Goodbyes and remember happy times.  

We seem to be surrounded by loss just lately.  My sister-in-law lost her father just before Grace died and I heard yesterday that the lady my Mum used to cruise with died suddenly last week.  I told Mum about Grace but I am tempted not to mention her cruising friend unless she does.  Although it does seem that her dementia cushions the emotional impact of such news.

I am having problems blogging at the moment which I suppose is understandable.  I feel overwhelmed by everything and am trying to maintain a sense of proportion.  I'm not saying this for sympathy but because I know many are struggling equally with loss and grief.  This last week I have struggled to think properly and have even been confused as to whether it is my Mum or Grace that had died.  I suppose that is because I am also grieving for the parts of Mum that we have lost.  I am conscious that I have suffered with reactive depression in the past and I don't want to go there again.  

Today I decided I should try and do something positive so that I could feel a sense of achievement and not feel so overwhelmed by all the stuff in my life.  I know housework isn't important at such times but you should see my house!  Well, no you shouldn't, it's a tip! This morning DH and I had an albeit short session tackling the burgeoning growth in the garden and when rain forced us indoors (Hooray for rain!  We need more!) I had a great time ruthlessly throwing out all the fabrics and old garments that I will never use in my textile work (Oh no I won't!).  We have about 7 bags to go to the Charity (Thrift) shop and I now have space in boxes and drawers to put away some of the fabric that's laying around and cluttering up the place.  Hooray for me!

I never did finish telling you about our Cornish holiday or all the wonderful textures we found and I still have to bring you photos of my gorgeous great-nephew at Easter so I will try and get back to being a good blogger soon.  Meanwhile I leave you with a pic of our lovely nephew practising his walking.


Thank you all again for your friendship and I should say welcome to people who have started following recently.   Hopefully normal service will be restored before long.

14 comments:

Emma said...

Hey we know you're there, there's no hurry - give yourself permission to take time to grieve, over the real loss of your friend & the loss of who your mother used to be. It was great to hear from you tho, & the occasonal quick update is great ;)

Erica said...

Sometimes life overtakes are best laid plans. Just look after yourself and those you love. Good on you for getting the reorganisation done. That would have brought a smile to your face! Said a prayer for you this morning.

freebird said...

Your mum's dementia and subsequent move is enough but to add more does take a big toll. Losses are just that. Losses, gone one way or another and we just have to take whatever time is needed to adjust. We don't really get over them but we do adjust. Gardening and thinking about your little nephew are good things. It's a bit of a stretch for me but I'll say it's even a good thing to be cleaning house (don't tell anyone I said cleaning is good - they'll start expecting some more out of me). You take your time and don't worry about blogging till you are ready.

Gina said...

Look after yourself Julie. Thinking of you. x

ju-north said...

Hope you feel beter soon Julie. I think we are in a grieving process when we see people we love with dementia - we grieve continuously for the person we knew. xx

LOVE STITCHING RED said...

I'm feeling so sad for you Julie. I know how much Grace meant to you. Take great care of yourself through this difficult period. You have far too much going on. I will send email soon. Love you lots xx

Heather said...

Take good care of yourself Julie - I can empathise with your confused state of loss. I still struggle now and then - it is so difficult to feel focussed. Having a good clear out is excellent therapy and the sight of your delightful little nephew can only lift the spirits. Hope you have a snapshot of him where you can see it every day.

Dosfishes at Sparkle Days Studios said...

Sometimes cleaning out does wonders for the soul! xox Corrine

imac said...

Attergirl.
Love you.xxx.

pam said...

Take care look after yourself and DH and remember all the positives and those wonderful memories you have.

Angela said...

Remember to look after yourself and have some me time we all need it now and then.

quilthexle said...

Oh yes, I remember grieving the whole time my mom was suffering with dementia - I remember it very well. She was there - but she was not here. And that is sooo hard to cope with.
So, take your time, for grieving and for remembering the good time you had with her. Be a bit nice to yourself, will you, please? You need it !! Take care, Frauke

maggi said...

I'm not surprised that you feel overwhelmed at the moment Julie, you have had so much to go through lately. Just take your time and let the healing process work.

Jackie said...

Julie I'm so sorry I missed this and have come late to the opportunity to send you my best wishes and sympathy and just say that there are times when you have to do what you need to do and not worry about housework/blogging/anything.
x