Saturday, 5 February 2011

There and back

If you wondered where I was we've been to Essex to take my Mum home and settle her in to her new routine of 're-enabling' carers who are going to come in 4 times a day to help her with the things she finds difficult, which is just about everything now.  My DH and I don't think living alone, even with carers coming in, is going to work and fully expect to be sent for quite quickly to make the ultimate decision about residential care.  Mum has dementia (isn't that an awful word when someone says it about your loved one?) and I cannot tell you how it feels to see a very special lady lose parts of herself and the things she used to love.  At least she is calm and still smiles sweetly in the face of her lack of understanding. 

Creativity has left me for now and I have to rest and recover my resources after the last weeks of looking after Mum.  I did make a little texture while I was away though inspired by my classes with the lovely Kim Klassen.


I made this texture from one of my mixed media paintings layered with the frozen pond I photographed in the winter and a white colour fill.  I then added ink splashes that I had made from Kim's workshop and brushed out the edge.  The next step is to use it over an image.

29 comments:

The Happy Apple said...

Oh I'm so sorry that mum and you are going through the mill at the moment. I do feel for you :(( Perhaps your mum will be able to manage you never know, but if not, she will be looked after very well and given the help she needs with a nursing/residential home. Take heart, and rest and recharge your batteries. Thinking of you x

Emma said...

Lovely soft image. Take time for yourself now, tho I wouldn't be surprised if the grieving process starts soon. It must be such a sad thing to witness, thinking of you x

Sharne's Bit 'n' Bobs said...

What a tough time you are having at the moment. I hope that your mum can cope with having carers in, but there are some very good care homes in the area.

Susan D said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. My thoughts are with you as I know how hard it is to watch as someone you love goes from being the strong and independent person you always thought they would be to being dependent on other people.

imac said...

Whichever way things go my Darling, you have my full support - Always.
DH.

Dot said...

Hi Julie
Sorry it has been so long since I visited. So sorry to hear about your mum and what you are going through. I hope she settles in OK in her home but can understand your concerns. It must be heartbreaking to see her change with the dementia. Grieving for her when she is still here but not here in the way she used to be.
I am sending you all my love.
Dot xx
P.S The texture you created is beautiful

Penny said...

Having been there with my mother, it is not an easy journey, my mother hated us for placing her in a nursing home but she grew to tolerate it. The last step was the worst.
I feel for you.

ju-north said...

Know just what you are going through. Some days are harder than others but I just take one day at a time. thinking about you both and your mum. xxx

Fran├žoise said...

So sorry to hear about your mom. I am going through the same kind of things with mine and I know how difficult it is for everyone. I'm sending you big big hugs.

sandra wyman said...

Big hugs Julie. I know how difficult it must be for you at present, having seen two close friends go through similar experiences. Thinking of you. Love xx

Trudi said...

That lovely soft image seems so reflective of you :) clearly creativity hasn't completely left, it's just resting with you :) Thinking of you, now take some time for YOU!

Heather said...

I know how difficult those decisions are Julie, from my own experience. My thoughts are with you and I'm glad you are looking after yourself and making time for a bit of creativity - that's a lovely texture you made.

peneller said...

Sorry to hear of your troubles Julie. Having been in a similar position myself I know how hard it is not to worry and how difficult it can be to get things sorted out from a distance. Take care of yourself. Hope to see you soon.Penny

Gina said...

Sorry to hear you are faced with difficult decisions Julie but I'm sure you will find a solution to keep Mum and you happy. Hope everything works out for the best. Thinking of you.

dosfishes said...

It is so hard to see the person you love fading away. I do hope things work out for Mum in the best way. Like Emma said, take time for yourself now. xox Corrine

quilthexle said...

Oh yeah ... it is a horrible word, and it is heartbreaking to watch your own mother loosing so much of her own personality. Making those decisions is just awful (been there - hated it ...)- so if you can find some time to recharge your batteries, do it !! You'll need the strength you regain. Soft hugs, Frauke

Fenland Textile Studio said...

I love your image. Make sure you have some "me" time and rest up. Sending you a cyber hug. Angela

maggi said...

That is not such good news about your mum Julie. Take care of yourself for all that lies ahead for you.
The texture is just so soft, can't wait to see you use it.

silverpebble said...

Julie, I'm so sad to read that yourself, DH and your Mum are having hard times. Look after yourself. Thinking of you x

katney said...

Good that she still has her spirits. You will probably find that she remembers things from long long ago, and maybe not whether she ate breakfast or that you visited her yesterday. Hang in there.

LOVE STITCHING RED said...

I feel so sad for your Mum, for the way you describe it as lost time and lost life it hit home to me, to not be able to enjoy the things she once did and to not really understand what is happening. How terribly hard for you to see that when your Mum was such an active lady, so full of life, grabbing her chances to travel and enjoy her crafts. You do need time to take stock of yourself and see what comes next and I hope you are being very kind to yourself at the moment. Sending you huge hugs and lots of love xx

LOVE STITCHING RED said...

ps. your DH is a treasure ... I just saw his comment x

Angela said...

I don't envy you Julie. I'm sending you lots of hugs and will be thinking of you.

Linda said...

Oh Julie my heart goes out to you ....looks like a fair number of us have been through similar so we can really sympathise.
Look after yourself....
Hugs
Linda xx
PS You've reminded me to go and have a go at Kim's new texture tutorial :-)

Diana said...

you have all my sympathies at this difficult time, julie. it is very sad and very hard. try to take one day at a time and what will be will be...

Cameron said...

Julie, Can't wait to see how your texture turns out. Hope you share. Do stay well, sounds very trying. Saw my mother this weekend, she's doing okay. Putting pressure on my Dad to get a few things in order. Hope he does. Hugs

pam said...

So sorry to hear about your Mum - it is a terrible thing to cope with - we as a family coped via humour when my Dad was no longer 'Dad'. The hardest day ever was the day he asked if he knew us. Take heart you have the best DH ever to support you and all of your memories to recall and treasure. Look forward to your blogs and your creativity. Lots of hugs xx

Moogsmum said...

Julie, I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. It's so hard to see your beloved parents become the ones that need to be cared for.
Make sure you take some time to rest when you can, as all the travelling and the emotional stress can really wear you down.
Lots of love and (((hugs)))
Lesley xx

MargaretR said...

I was saddened to hear the news about your Mum Julie as she sounded such a funa and active lady. My thoughts are with you.